Social Media

Your heart rate increases and the adrenaline kicks in, you feel the excitement and anticipation build as you reach for your phone which has just  buzzed with acknowledgment, a new Facebook message, a Like on Twitter and a new Snap chat to view.

There is an increasing need for constant and instant gratification.  Which isn’t good for mental health. The pain of knowing someone has read your message yet they appear to be actively ignoring you. If like me, your mind tends to run away with you then this can be detrimental. In reality the person in question may have a perfectly reasonable  explanation to why they haven’t responded.

 If you are on social media you are potentially accessible 24/7 there is no down time unless you actively log out and turn off your device. It is good to have that  time away from observing other people and what they are doing.

There is a false sense of reality which many people portray, the perfect highlight reel of an immaculate life, filled with family, friends and fun. Every moment documented, and filled with smiles and joy.

This is one of the reasons I hardly ever use Facebook  (or Fakebook as I like to call it !) It is so false, surely no-one’s life is that good all of the time.  It can be depressing to see everyone doing so well and being so happy that your sense of self worth and self esteem take a nosedive and are slowly obliterated.

There is also Cyber bullying , this ties in with what I was talking about earlier. This does not just affect kids and young people but they do seem to be primary targets. The fact people are accessible all the time. If you were getting bullied at school for example you could at least have a break overnight while you were at home, there was a little bit of respite. But now with most people having access to social media on their phones then the bullies are potentially always with them.

I do not think all social media is bad, but you need to have a balance and a reality check.  There is a lot of support online for mental health, twitter in particular has a supportive mental health community. This can be invaluable if you don’t feel able to talk to those closest to you or you just don’t feel able to get out and about. Having someone to talk to who more often than not understands how you are feeling can be really helpful.

I am aware of the irony that I will  use social media to share this blog post. I think that when  your mental health is involved you need to be careful about how you use social media as it could do more harm than good.

Criticism

Not everyone is going to like what you do, this is a realization that I am finally having. Since starting this blog I hadn’t written anything for four years. Partly due to being busy with work, family etc but mostly due to the fact I was scared. The fear has been stifling my creativity.  I am not very good at taking criticism, depending on my mood at the time I fluctuate between defensive and devastated.

If you grew up being criticized or bullied then these feelings can become engrained, the nagging sense that no matter how hard you try you won’t be good enough.

I still struggle with it now. I go into panic mode and worry about getting everything right so much so that it is detrimental. I will spend too long trying to perfect something and get told off for taking too long. I make a rash decision and it ends up being wrong because I didn't want to take too long, when in fact I should have thought it through. Even what would appear to be simple tasks can feel like trying to climb Everest.  I recognise it is ridiculous, I am often having that rational internal dialogue whilst fighting with myself trying not to fail.

Being a people pleaser is my default setting, I don’t like conflict and want to get on with everyone all the time. This is not realistic I know. I am trying to be braver and take criticism constructively and to stand up for myself and not just conform to keep the peace. I hope one day I will be able to function without second guessing every decision I make, I’m working on it, I guess you just have to keep trying and eventually you will overcome the hurdle.

Baby Steps

Looking at how many other mental health blogs are out there I felt totally overwhelmed  and thought what is the point? Which is typical of how I feel when the anxiety kicks in and everything feels too much, to the point of not wanting to even try. I manage to convince myself that I will fail before I have even started.  B I am trying to work on this, by not trying I won’t fail but I also won’t get anywhere either.

As I am new to this, I thought this would be a good place to start, talking about baby steps. I suffer with anxiety and depression. The anxiety has been around since I was a child. It feels so all consuming and  debilitating at times that it can be a struggle to get through the day and complete normal tasks.  I am beyond exhausted from the constant chaos in my mind that I feel like I have run a marathon.

So I am trying to make little changes and keep up with them. I have started to add a 10 minute exercise routine in the evening, as evenings can be one of the worst times for me, overthinking everything that has happened that day or what I have to complete tomorrow.  It gives me something to focus on. I am trying to be more organized too. For example, getting everything ready that I need  for the next morning does make things easier.  I am trying to find at least one good thing that happened in the day and make a note of it, even if the only thing was I made a nice cup of coffee earlier!  Then I can look back at the good points from the week and see what I have achieved.

 The little things do add up, even when you feel that they don’t, after all

 “The little things mean everything”  -Matthew Ryan

Hello

Hello, and welcome to my Blog!

I will be writing, a monthly blog about mental health issues. I am currently studying Counselling and have also experienced anxiety and depression on and off for many years myself. This blog will document my journey to try and improve my own mental health as well as sharing tips that work for me.

I hope you enjoy reading and will join me for the ride.